11.27.2013

Auf Wiedersehn


This is... a post I really never thought I would write. Even writing down that sentence was hard. For the past few weeks, I have thought about blogging a lot. I've thought about what this blog means to me, how long I've kept it, how much a part of my life is was and still it. 

I am not someone who finishes things. I'm kind of a total flake. I start poetry cycles and never finish them -- heck, I start poems and never finish them! I half clean my house on a regular basis. I give up on organizing, on making a fancy dinner, on eating healthy, on lifting weights... I could go on, but I won't. I'm not a finisher. It's true. Very rarely do I "stick with" anything -- I'm very flighty. 

This blog has been with part of my life longer than anything else, besides my family. I started this blog in April 2008 -- it's been almost 6 years. In that time, I graduated high school, got engaged, got married, lost my grandfather, got a job, quit a job, got another job, gained 20 pounds (and tried, unsuccessfully, to lose it), and went through a series of depressions that seemed to last forever. Through all of that, I wrote on this blog, I took pictures of my outfits, and I embarrassed myself with melodramatic text posts. 

I have decided not to write on Locked Out anymore

There are lots of reasons for this. The first one is: in many ways, I am still desperately trying to be something I'm not. Something I once succeeded in being, for a very short time. I'm not an early 20s indie pixie anymore. It's just a lot less cute these days, post-college and post-full time work. But trying to be something I just cannot be anymore isn't good for me. 


When I first decided to write this post, I knew I wanted to post pictures from the past and from the present. The one thing I noticed most of all, besides my weight gain, which I promise, I'll try not to write about that ad nauseum, was how confident I was two years ago. Look at me! For a brief period, I was bursting with confidence and excitement for life. I lost it somewhere. That's very hard to write. I don't know what happened, but I don't feel like I know the girl in this picture anymore, but through this blog, I have continued to try to be her and I just cannot figure out what's different. 

It is hard to feel like I've lost a bit of myself over the last few years. I've been through several major life transitions and I am still reeling. I take out a lot of my stress, sadness, and anxiety on my body and the results are obvious. It's hard to admit I'm in a very low place and I have been for quite a while -- and it's hard that something that used to make me so happy (fashion, taking outfit photos) makes me so incredibly miserable. But it's because I'm still trying to be this girl. And she's awesome, but I don't know how to be her anymore. I have to find a way back to that place, instead of trying to force myself to continually be her


I want to return to a place where I love myself. And I'm not sure I can do that in a space where the emphasis is so intense on how I look. I love fashion. I still do. But for me, getting dressed is a miserable experience these days. I don't think I look cute; I definitely don't think I look beautiful; and I definitely don't want any picture evidence of how I leave the house these days. The way I created Locked Out and the purpose I created it for... don't add up to what I need right now to be a happier person. 

This has really turned into a downer of a post, which I don't intend it to be. I've been through a really dark two years in my life, trying lots of different things to make it better and, in some ways, just ignoring it and hoping it will change. The fact is, change comes from the inside. I have to start taking steps to protect myself, to give myself opportunities to participate in a community I love (blogging) without the pressure to look a certain way, take hundreds of pictures of myself, and feel comfortable posting them (fashion blogging). 


I know it's gotten annoying to have my write about my body image issues so much, but unfortunately, I'm going to some more... one last time... Two years ago, I was the thinnest I have ever been in my life. Well, okay, since I was 11, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count, considering that was pre-puberty. I felt so confident and beautiful and happy. I had Danny. I had a college degree. I felt like I was, for once, a pretty girl who people could like. I felt worthy of other people wanting to be around me. 

In high school and college, I was never overweight, but I had never been small either; I had always looked at other girls and wondered how they'd gotten so damn small. I felt inferior to other women and hated myself. I had bad skin, big pores, chubby thighs, and lank hair. It wasn't a good combination for me. So, you have to understand, the weight I was at two years ago was a pinnacle for me; it was a huge moment and I hadn't done anything to achieve it. It just, well, happened. When I started gaining weight, I felt all of that confidence slipping away from me. It terrified me. I felt so good and to get bigger -- to return to the weight I'd been through high school and college -- felt awful. It felt like I was going backwards instead of forwards, all while I was taking major "adult" steps, like getting married and starting a real job. 


The overwhelming theme of my life, for the past year, has really been my body. I have reflected all of my feelings at it and my body image issues -- and my body, in many ways -- has grown out of proportion accordingly. It's all-consuming. I'm trying to make it less consuming. Leaving Locked Out behind -- with the old me, the girl I don't recognize anymore, the college me, the high school me trying to create a persona of an indie pixie -- is one of the ways I'm working towards that goal. 


I will keep blogging. I've already started a lifestyle blog here. "Lifestyle" was the only niche I could really think of where it would fit perhaps more comfortably, but ultimately, the focus will be on my life, on writing, on the things I read and think about and care about, the things I do everyday. I want to focus on my photography again... but not photographing myself. I want to focus on cooking and Danny and my new home. I just want less pressure. I want to move away from what I was (and my fixation on returning my body to an idealized shape) and move towards being a person that I love again. 

Thank you all for reading my blog. I know some of you have been around for years and I want to thank you for always reading, even if you didn't comment. Knowing someone out there read my thoughts has always been helpful to me. I hope you'll follow me at my new blog. I hope you understand why I am closing this chapter of my (internet) life. Thank you so much for everything this blog has given me. I cannot believe this is the last post I will ever write for it. 

Thank you for being you and allowing me to be me, always.

(Also, I will still be on Twitter and Instagram, but I'll be changing my usernames ASAP!) 


11.18.2013

A Panda Sweater & Food

Sweater, Rue21. Peter Pan collar top, Forever 21. Jeans, American Eagle. Boots, Target. 

I recently read a book that helped me a lot. It's called Women, Food & God by Geneen Roth and it's not as fluffy as it sounds, I swear. I recently started attending counseling again -- partly to deal with my lingering anxiety problems and partly to deal with my obviously awful body image problems -- and the woman I see suggested this book. I read it in a day and immediately felt how it could apply to my life. I ordered two other books by Geneen Roth -- Why Weight, a workbook for compulsive eating, and Break Free from Emotional Eating. Both are really good and I've been able to apply a lot of Geneen Roth's ideas to my life. I've had the best week, emotionally, since reading those books. 

The main point of Geneen Roth is this: when you eat when you're not hungry (compulsively, because you want to, whatever) you're running from something that you're really feeling. People compulsively eat because they need to feel broken (so someone will love them/try to fix them), because they're in denial about real pain, because they don't think they're strong enough to feel all the emotions they are running from. Her point is that, whenever you want to eat something and you're not physically hungry, take a few minutes to really think about how you feel: write it down, think about it, explore it. And you'll find yourself not wanting to eat whatever it is you wanted before. 

A secondary point of the books is that, by forbidding ourselves to have certain foods, we keep ourselves from ever being fully satisfied. Geneen was a compulsive eater for years and she even developed anorexia at one point, but one day she decided she was just going to eat whatever she wanted, she just had to be actually, physically hungry to eat it. She ate chocolate chip cookies for two weeks because she'd never really allowed herself to eat chocolate chip cookies without guilt. Once she realized that if the "forbidden" label was taken off foods and she allowed herself to eat them without guilt, she didn't binge, she ended up losing quite a bit of weight. It's kind of a crazy concept. Eat exactly what you want, when you are hungry, there are no off-limits foods. 


I've really been struggling for the last year with my body and with compulsive eating, partly driven by stress and immense life changes, as well as grief and depression. I'm not great at sticking to rules. I'm too impulsive. But if I make myself really think about whether or not I'm hungry at work, when I want to eat a piece of chocolate or my snack, I almost always realize I'm feeling anxious or stressed out or overwhelmed. 

I've also started eating whatever I want when I'm hungry -- no counting calories, no stressing out, no bad foods. None of that. Food isn't an enemy and my body isn't either, and I can trust my body to know when too much is enough and I can trust myself to know what's good for me. The thing is, diets are not objective; they don't take into account emotional or compulsive eating; they don't take into account that there are people behind numbers; and they don't take into account that sometimes your body isn't hungry. Diets are also formulated on the notion that if you or I allowed ourselves to eat whatever we want, we would literally eat the entire world. I don't think that's true and you shouldn't either. Diets hold the idea that there are "bad" foods and "good" foods and you should never, ever eat the bad foods. And again, I don't think that's true. 

Saturday, I was hungry and wanted pizza, so I bought a pizza and ate until I was full. That morning, I had worked out and was incredibly hungry; I made pancakes because they sounded delicious. I ended up only eating one pancake because I was full after one. It's kind of amazing how much better I feel after I allow myself to eat what feels good. I also find I don't want to eat the things I used to binge on -- like cookies or tortilla chips -- because I allow myself to eat them now and they're not nearly as exciting when they aren't forbidden


Anyway, that's what's been going on in my mind for the past week or so! A few notes on this outfit: I bought this panda sweater in early October while Danny's parents were visiting. I absolutely love it, because pandas, and it pairs so well with so many things I already own. These jeans are new from American Eagle -- they're actually jeggings and they're quite tight, but I'm hoping they loosen up after a few wears.

Hope you all had a good weekend. Happy Monday! 


10.31.2013

NaNo NaNo


When I graduated from college, it felt like everything in the world had aligned to be perfect: I had Danny, I had a degree, and I had a drive to write. Writing has been my passion since I was 12 years old. I've filled up notebooks, written stories, collected poems. In college, I excelled (or I feel like I excelled...) in workshops. I loved reading other people's writing and helping them improve it. I loved keeping notebooks and reading and critiquing. I loved evenings in the library, wandering through the stacks to find encyclopedias, references books, anthologies. I loved every part of writing and college and I was sure that my life in the working world would fall perfectly into place the way my life in college did. 

Things didn't turn out quite that way. As time passed, I adjusted, I made do, I made myself work harder and better. As a result, many things I was passionate about fell to the side. Including, at times, this blog. It's hard to focus on outfits and baking and taking great pictures when you have to work from 8-5 at a completely unrelated job to pay your bills. 

Another unfortunate result of adjusting my life to accept what I had -- not necessarily what I wanted -- was I stopped writing creatively. I still wrote on this blog, but ultimately, this blog is completely different from my creative writing. This blog taps into a different part of my writing persona. I stopped keeping a journal. I stopped writing poems and reading books and taking notes. I stopped making lists of things I noticed. I stopped writing down details. I felt too busy for it. Part of me wondered if my love of writing had been frivolous, if all those writing workshops had been useless because, really, who really succeeds as a writer? 

The past few months I have tried my hardest to snap back into writing, to make time for it and to rediscover my passion for it. Writing is back to being hard. I find myself rereading the creative writing books from my college life and remembering things I'd forgotten. It's hard to reteach myself the things I thought were ingrained in me forever. 

I've been writing in a journal again since June. In September, I tried to write 30 poems in 30 days -- I wrote 19, which is still a huge amount. Since August, I have been doing freelance writing on the side of my day job. I have thought about this blog a lot. I have thought about the small gifts life has given me to make me a better writer: a hilarious husband; a job where I meet incredible people; a beautiful place to live. I have thought about how I have all the passion, drive, and tools to be a writer... it's just a matter of making time for it, of doing it. 

In November, I will be doing NaNoWriMo for the second time. I attempted last year and the year before, but I didn't get farther than the first week. In 2010, I wrote a novel. This year, I hope to do the same. This is my first big step into writing a considerable amount everyday again. In college, writing over 1,000 words a day was child's play, really! I'm ready to be back. I'm ready to really consider myself a writer again. 


10.30.2013

Falling Leaves


On Sunday, I woke up feeling angry and sad. There's no other way to describe it: I just felt bad and mean. I've been majorly stressing out the last week (and into this week). After missing a week of work, I'm still massively behind on a lot of things. Our house is still not finished (we were originally supposed to be moving in by now!!) Property taxes are due. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. I have freelance projects due every Saturday, on top of working full time. 

There is just so much going on, so much I'm waiting for happen, and so many things to being adult that seem to truly and completely suck the life out of me. So I woke up feeling angry, a bit sad, and a bit ready to blame whatever I could for my bad mood. 

I get bored really easily and when I feel poorly already, that boredom is a recipe for emotional disaster. Sunday morning I couldn't find anything to grab my attention and make me feel better: scrapbooking, writing, whatever -- nothing could distract me from feeling bad. Danny and I planned to go to a basketball game with my parents and as I started getting ready to go, I found myself feeling worse and worse... when I tried to pick out an outfit to wear, all the negative feelings came to a head. I finally found a place to focus all of my stressful energy and my bad feelings, and that place was myself. I found myself standing in the kitchen in my underwear, crying like a baby at being unable to pick out an outfit. 

Danny steered me back into the bedroom and helped me into bed, where I laid crying for at least 20 minutes. Sometimes life gives you little moments where you realize a lot of things at once.

Firstly, I realized, while sniffling my way through "I'm fat, I hate all my clothes, I'm tired of working so hard for nothing, I'm mad at myself!" at least twice, that I take out a lot of my anger and stress on myself. I blame my body for making me feel a specific way, but really, it's the other way around: I feel a specific way and that feeling makes me annoyed that my body doesn't look/act a specific way.

Secondly, I realized that I'm in control of my life and my body, and while external circumstances can impact us, ultimately, it's up to me to make myself happy, change my body, or change my life (or do all of those things). I have worked really hard to get fit in the last year. I work out regularly, I can run more than I have ever have in my life, and I recently graduated to 20-pound free weights. But I still allow myself to stress eat in a way that isn't healthy. Instead of writing about my feelings or talking about them or really feeling them, I eat them and make excuses for it. It's not healthy. The amount I obsess over my body and what I eat isn't healthy. I'm in control of this body and this life and what goes into it.


I got up, got dressed ("Just put something on," I told myself), and got ready to go watch a basketball game. I still wasn't happy. The problem with emotions is that they stick with you, no matter what, until you learn to move past them or you get over it. I wasn't over feeling bad quite yet.

The past few days, I have tried my hardest to stop beat myself up over little things. I tried to eat healthy and have lots of healthy snacks and not try to make myself feel as hungry as possible before eating something. I worked out in moderate amounts and lifted weights and did wall sits with my coworkers. I tried not to critique every little "error" I saw in the mirror. I tried to dress nice, in outfits I'd never worn before, to make myself feel better. I wore high heels. I wore eyeliner and perfume. And more than anything, when I find myself entering a spiral of stress and worrying, I try to stop it, because I know how it will always end: the blame will fall to my appearance, to making myself feel bad, and to eating a whole loaf of bread on my own.

Life requires a lot of patience and a lot of making mistakes, learning lessons, and learning how to make better choices. At 25, I'm still in the process of learning how to change myself for the better, how to undo all of my bad, learned habits, and how to establish new, positive patterns in my life.

The leaves are starting to fall from the trees; it's starting to get dark earlier in the evening and the sun is rising later in the morning; the air is cold and dry. Winter is approaching and Fall is leaving us. I'm hoping that everything I've felt and experienced in the past week is an indication that I'll be changing too.


10.24.2013

It's Not Just for Salsa: 8 Recipes for Your Food Processor


Do you have a food processor? And by have, I mean, have you taken out of the box? 

Let's be real, food professors are terrifying. Even to me and I use mine, like, a lot. At first I was terrified of it. I was about 50% positive I was going to damage one of my digits trying to use it -- and I've been down that road and it sucks. But food processors are not scary. In fact, they are magical tools that you can use to make deliciousness happen in your kitchen with minimal effort. You just have to prep yourself for loud noises because, seriously, these things have to be around the same decibels as airplanes. (Not really, but it feels like it for me and Remus.) 

A few weeks ago, I posted a photo of some miniature pies I had made. I was asked on Twitter about food processor recipes and I realized, I use my food processor a lot. My food processor is a relatively cheap one from Target -- I think it was around $25 and it looks shockingly similar to the Black & Decker picture above. Mine also has a second blade disk that I can use for shredding or for slicing if I flip it over. This along with the regular, Freddy Kruger looking blade best used for chopping, blending, and mincing stuff into course chunks and/or oblivion. 

Do not be terrified of your food processor anymore. Here are 10 ways to use your food processor (just in case you have one that's been sitting in a box for, um, like 4 months...). 

1. Salsa.

Ok, I know I said it wasn't just for salsa, but seriously, salsa. It's so much better homemade.

It's so easy, it basically slaps you in the face. Throw in: tomatoes, a jalapeno, 1/2 an onion, cilantro, lime juice, a red or green pepper, a dash of white vinegar, salt and pepper, and hit the pulse button until it looks like salsa. It's basically magic and it tastes like a fiesta. 

2. Pie dough

Don't be scared. You'll never have to buy refrigerated pie crust again and that's awesome. Combine: 2 cups flour; 1 teaspoon salt; and 1 tablespoon of sugar in your food processor. Take 2/3 cup (about 11 tablespoons) of butter that is super cold and cut it into little squares. Add to the food processor and pulse until the butter is roughly the size of peas and the flour mixtures looks kind of like sand. (Don't blend this. Don't. Don't make it look like mush.) Put a bunch of ice in a glass and pour water over it. Take a drink. Just kidding, but seriously, stay hydrated. 

Use a tablespoon to add one tablespoon of the ice water at a time to the food processor. Blend after each tablespoon. Stop adding water when the mixture comes together and forms a ball. Dump it onto some plastic wrap; wrap up and form into a disk; chill in the fridge until you need to use it. Make a pie as you usually would, but with delicious, flaky, homemade pie crust. When anybody asks, you basically have all the bragging rights and you barely did anything. You can use this dough for: pies; mini pies (just use a muffin pan or mini muffin pan); chicken pot pie; or shepherd's pie. 

3. Pesto.

Ok, kinda basic, but pesto is basically one of the most perfect sauces/dips/additions on the planet. 

You'll need a ton of basil, a handful of toasted nuts (pine nuts are traditional, but cost a billion dollars, so I use slivered almonds), garlic, olive oil, and, if you want, cheese. (I do not like cheese in my pesto, so I leave it out.) 

Throw basil, nuts, and two-ish cloves of garlic into your food processor. Blend until everything is mushed up. Open the well and pour in olive oil as you blend, until you reach a decidedly "pesto" consistency. 

Put on sandwiches, pizza, pasta, chips, whatever. You're a magician now.

4. Salad dressings.

This is my favorite way to use my food processor because 1) bottled dressing is pretty gross (think about it) and 2) it's also super bad for you. Make your own. 

My favorite is balsamic vinegar, mustard, olive oil, a little bit of onion or shallot, garlic, salt and pepper, and lemon juice. Blend up in your food processor and you don't have to break your arm trying to whisk the olive oil into submission. 

Other things to try: homemade raspberry dressing; homemade caesar dressing; and homemade mayo. 

5. Potato gratin (or potato chips or potato soups)

Yes, you will make this in your food processor. 

Ok, kind of. 

As I mentioned, my food processor has a slicing blade, so if your's doesn't, I'm really sorry because the slicing disk makes me feel like a professional chef. Most food processors offer various accessories, so if your's didn't come with one, look into buying one, because... it's awesome. I use the slicing blade to slice potatoes for gratins/scalloped potatoes to the same thickness. This means all the potatoes cook for the same amount of time. This means you can: make potato chips really easily; bake potatoes in a creamy, delicious sauce evenly; add to soup and cook for a set amount of time. Awesome? I think so. Mainly because I hate trying to slice potatoes. My fingers appreciate the slicing blade. 

6. Homemade hummus. 

Danny and I love hummus and eat probably way too much of it. But it's sooo good. 

In your food processor, combine 1 can of (drained) chickpeas; some olive oil; a bit of Parmesan cheese; lemon juice; and tahini sauce (available in most grocery stores). Blend until it, you know, looks like hummus. Enjoy on sandwiches, veggies, or chips. Or on everything. You can add all kinds of additions one you start making your own hummus too: sun dried tomatoes; roasted peppers; artichokes; spinach; the list goes on... 

7. Coleslaw

If your food processor has a shredding disk, use it to shred cabbage, beats, carrots, and celery for an awesome coleslaw. (You can then wash your food processor and use it to make a dressing using mayo, lemon juice, and white vinegar.) I love carrots shredded on salads anyway, because, well, they're a little more manageable that way. 

8. Dips & other sauces

Food processors are really the number one way to make everything yourself. All those fancy dips in the store? Yeah, you can make them with a food processor. Try this recipe for French onion dip that's way healthier than anything from a non-refrigerated plastic container.

Food processors: great kitchen gadget or greatest kitchen gadget? You be the judge.

What crazy food do you love making in your food processor? 


10.23.2013

Off the Blog: What I've Been Up To


Hi guys! I have been accidentally-kind-of ignoring blogging lately. I've just been crazy busy -- I thought I'd share a few life updates. 

  • I turned 25! My birthday was Sunday and it was really exciting. It would have been better if I hadn't been sick the whole week before! I'm mostly better except for a lingering cough. My parents took Danny and I out to dinner on my birthday -- we enjoyed a nice dinner, followed by a little shopping! Danny spoiled be rotten with gifts the week leading up to the big day: he got me a ton of candles and stuff for our new house, plus nail polish, candy, make up, a gorgeous necklace, and fancy headphones for when I work out! (PS I feel really, really old.)
  • A Visit from Danny's parents. Danny's parents visited the weekend before last (before my birthday), which happened to be the weekend I got sick! They treated us to a trip to Costco (which means my cupboards are stocked again!), as well as goodies from the new Nordstrom Rack and lots of dinners out. Mostly, Danny and I both loved spending time with them -- and they love to see Remus, the grand-furbaby!
  • Our House... is still in the works! Sigh! We were supposed to be moved in by now, really, but about two months ago, someone broke in and stole the copper wiring out of the electric parts. Yikes. The past month has essentially been catch up for the month that they couldn't do anything. We finally have insulation and should have sheetrock relatively soon. After that, it's floors and finishing and then move in! (I have been slowly packing for two months now. I'm beyond ready to move!!)
  • I've been freelancing! I haven't shared this on here yet, but this seems like a good time: I have recently started freelance writing. I have long-term contracts with a few different businesses to provide copy and articles. It's been really exciting, but it's very hard to work full time and then, essentially, freelance full time! I can't write while I'm at my day job, so after working out, making dinner, and cleaning up the house, I spend 3-4 hours each night working on whatever is on my to do list. It's exhausting, but I feel like I'm getting so much accomplished and I'm proud of myself for having come this far as a writer. Who would have thought I'd actually get paid for writing someday? Ha! 

Well that's about it. Between work, freelance, being sick, and taking care of little things, I haven't had much room for much else! I'm going to try to get on top of blogging this next weekend though. Hope you all are having a fantastic day! 


10.16.2013

e.l.f. Disney Villains 12-piece Polish Set


The bad news: I have a really bad cold and/or the flu. The good news: I treated myself to this $9.99 nail polish set I've been eyeing at Wal-Greens. 

I saw it about a week ago and thought it seemed like such a great deal. I decided to wait though... and when I saw it today, I just couldn't stop myself! Danny and I had ran to Target in Eugene for a new humidifier (mine broke last night after almost 7 years of use!!) and then at the DMV to renew my license. We stopped at Walgreens to pick up a few cold-related things and I spotted these nail polishes again. What the heck, I told myself, let's do this.




You guys... the colors are sooooo good. I'm ridiculously impressed. I was going to swatch them, but I just put a new color (that Danny got me as an early birthday present) on -- OPI's Russian Navy which is goooorgeous -- and I am not ready to take it off yet. I'll swatch them and post them later though. For now, let's look at all the pretty colors!


First up -- Cruella de Vil. These colors suit her perfectly: a bit cold, but chic. Smoky brown is a gray-light brown color. Smokin' Hot is a very traditional red cream polish. Nude is probably my favorite of this set -- it's a gorgeous pinky-beige flesh tone. 


The Ursula set is probably my favorite!! Coral Dream is a gorgeous light pinky coral; I find other corals leans too much towards orange, but this one is just the perfect amount of pink! Mint Cream is a gorgeous creamy mint blue color; it's absolutely nothing like Essie's Mint Candy Apple, as it's darker and a bit more teal than green. Sea Escape is an inky blue with blue metallic glitter; it's actually very beautiful and sophisticated and definitely reminds me of the deep sea!


I know I just said the Ursula set was my favorite... but the Evil Queen set is a close second, possibly tied! This one is so perfect for the holidays! Cranberry is a gorgeous dark, almost burnt red color that would be absolutely gorgeous for Thanksgiving. It's not burgundy though -- it's not purple-y at all!! Pot of Gold is a perfect gold color -- I actually think it would look really pretty paired with Nude from the Cruella de Vil set! Thunderstorm reminds me a lot of Essie's Chinchilly, except it's darker and a bit less thick. It's dark and beautiful though and very stormy looking -- lovely!


To be honest, the Maleficent set is the one I'm more eh about. The colors don't remind me of Maleficent at all! I think they're too cutesy and girly. Bubblegum Pink is a pink cream color that does, indeed, look exactly like bubblegum. I would have loved it as a 6-year-old, I'm sure!! Mod Mauve is quite pretty: it's a dark mauve-pink that would look beautiful in the spring with cute dresses. Gina Girl is the only glitter in the collection and while I love glitter polishes, this one turns me off quite a bit; it's not in a clear base! The base is a dark green-gray sheer color with large and micro glitters in purple, pink, and gold. It has the opportunity to be quite pretty, but if you put it on top of anything, it's going to give it a nasty gray-green cast... not cute!

All in all, I'm really happy with this set and very excited to play with the colors. I'll try to swatch all of these colors over the next few days to share!


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