Brown & Black

M

Scarf, top and skirt, Forever 21

Tights, Target

Boots, Macy's 

Bracelet, my mom's 

Surprise! I actually wore this outfit in the past few days! Last Monday, to be precise. I decided to spend 10 minutes taking pictures instead of standing aimlessly in my kitchen before work. Some of the pictures are blurry and out of focus (ugh), but otherwise, I'm really happy with them. I love this outfit, even if this skirt always looks too small. (I swear to god it's not. It just pulls in really odd ways in photos!) 

I am mildly obsessed with my knee high boots. In case you can't tell. I wear them at least once a week, usually more. They actually fit my calves. Seriously. They do! They have a stretchy panel in the back, but as I've worn them, they've gotten a little bit looser around the top, which makes them super comfortable. They are wicked cute with jeans, a plain sweater, and a scarf. Seriously, these boots. I'm even willing to mix black and brown in them. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday! I cannot believe I've posted two whole outfit posts in the past two weeks. Whew! I'm exhausted. :)

Wardrobe Rehab: Why You Should Get Rid of the Clothes that Make You Feel Bad

The other day I decided to do something, well, crazy. Something I'd never done before.

I cleaned out my wardrobe.

And I did so with this mindset: anything that makes me instantly feel bad by even just thinking about putting it on... I have to get rid of. Or pack up for a little while. Or something. I need it out of sight, out of mind. All the too-small clothes from a year ago. All the clothes I used to love but feel like crap in. All the things I think "Well, when I lose 10 pounds this will look cute again..." when I put them on. I need to put them away, stop looking at them, move on. Move on.

That's the big one. I need to move on.

How I feel right now reminds me a lot of how I felt at the end of high school. I had gained weight and graduated high school and all the things I used to wear started to not fit me, either because I had physically outgrown them or because they just weren't something I wanted to wear anymore. But I wanted to cling to the persona I had in high school, which sort of revolved around my clothes. I wanted to still be that person who wore those specific clothes and looked good-ok-decent in them. But I couldn't be. I hated everything and I hated how they made me look and I hated my body and I was generally miserable.

I'm in a very similar place right now. My body has changed and try as I might, my body seems to be asserting the fact that it wants this amount of fat and weight on it right now. I can restrict calories and work out and lift weights but it's not going to change anything. The clothes I used to wear aren't ever going to make me feel like they used to me, and part of me wonders if that is part my body and part the fact that I've moved on from dressing a certain way. Maybe I'm really over dressing like a twee hipster fashionista. (Never!) Or maybe I'm just over those items. Maybe I'm just totally over dressing to impress other people and "look" like a fashion blogger. Maybe I'm over being a fashion blogger.

Maybe it all just makes me feel bad and unsuccessful and like a disappointment.

Okay, that's not a "maybe." That's a "yes this does make me feel bad and disappointed in myself." And that sucks. And when something sucks and makes you feel depressed, you should stop doing it. You should stop wearing the pants that make you feel bad, that you think you look fat in, that are 2 sizes too small but you want to keep them because you love them and maybe some day you'll lose enough weight to fit into them. Stop it, self! I say. Stop it, right now! These are clothes. They don't mean anything. They aren't worth more than your happiness. They aren't worth more than Danny or your puppy or your job or anything else that you're going crazy over because you don't fit into a pair of LAVENDER SHORTS ANYMORE. THEY ARE LAVENDER SHORTS. Seriously, Michelle, you have a B.A. You're too smart for this!

And that, my friends, is why I performed a Wardrobe Rehab.

• Step 1: Grab a box or a garbage bag or whatever you're going to jam these harbingers of mental destruction into. Place it right beside your closet. 
• Step 2: Go through each item piece by piece. Don't skip anything. Don't say, "But I totally love this and will wear it when..." If that when ends with "lose 10 pounds" or "magically shrink to the size of a pixie" or "have a thigh gap," promptly rid yourself of it, because no. 
• Step 3: Don't stop. Don't take a break. Even if this is making you mentally exhausted to admit that you should get rid of those jeans you've had since high school that remind you of your old best friends, the ones you've had for, seriously, nine years.... don't stop. This is a battle for your brain right now. 
• Step 4: When you've been through every hanger, ever drawer, even possible clothing stash, zip up the bag, put on the lid, or close it up. You don't have to take these things to Goodwill ASAP. You can just hide them. You don't have to look at them anymore. You don't have to be reminded that you used to be "tiny" or that you once really loved a mustard midi skirt that you shrank tragically in the wash. You don't have to look at these things or feel bad about them or put them on a cry because you look minutely different from the way you did a year and a half ago. Put them away. Don't think about them. Move on. 

Let's get on this, guys. Life is way too short to be miserable over something as silly as clothes. 

Homemade Vegetable Soup

Sorry for the poor quality photo, but I had to share this vegetable soup I've been making for the past few weeks! I make a big batch during the week and divide it into easy travel containers for Danny and I to take for lunch. It's perfect. Full of flavor and healthy veggies! The best part, it's super easy and quick to make!

You'll need...

• 1/2 an onion, diced
• 1 clove of garlic, crushed
• about 20 baby carrots, diced
• 2 stalks of celery, diced
• 2 potatoes, diced
• 1 can of black beans
• 1 can of corn
• 1 can of chickpeas 
• about 1 cup of spinach, chopped
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 quart of chicken or veggie stock 
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 1 teaspoon of poultry seasoning
• 1 teaspoon of sage
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of pepper

In a large soup pot, saute onions, garlic, carrots, and celery with just a bit of nonstick cooking spray. As they are softening up, dice up your potato and add to the pot. Once everything is cooked just a bit, create an empty space in the bottom and add in your butter; then add in your flour and stir. It will create a paste that coats all the veggies. Keep stirring for a while, about 1-2 minutes, so the flour cooks a bit. Then add in your chicken or vegetable stock. Stir, making sure to break up any clumps of flour mixture.  Add in all the seasonings and stir. 

Add your two tablespoons of tomato paste and allow to simmer for about 10-15 minutes, until the potatoes and carrots are cooked through. Strain and rinse your beans, corn, and chickpeas and add to the soup. Add your chopped spinach and allow to wilt. Warm up the soup again. Serve with a bit of hot sauce on top -- I like Tabasco Chipotle, personally! 

It's such a quick, easy, healthy soup and it makes a great comforting lunch during a long workday. I especially love it with a grilled cheese sandwich -- I feel like I can get away with something a little decadent... since the soup is barely any calories at all! 

A Dash of Mustard

Top, Forever 21

Skirt, Target

Boots, Macy's

Necklace, Rue21

Well, well, well, look what we have here. Blurry outfit photos. I'm so sorry. I didn't take them. Danny did. (I can't blame him. He did a very good job.) I took these photos though and then immediately plummeted into an awful mood. Does anyone else ever get that way? Where you suddenly are like, "Well, I look awful in all of these photos. This is awful, I'm awful, I'm done"? No? Just me? Ok. 

I don't know what it is about outfit photos, but whenever I take them these days, I immediately fall into a black pit of sadness. I think it's part anxiety, part frustration, but who knows. 

I pulled myself together long enough to pick these photos out of the bunch. 

I wore this outfit to work ages ago. I got this skirt ages ago. I got these boots (guess?) ages ago. I got this necklace right before Easter. I love all of these pieces and I love this outfit, but I barely have time to sleep anymore, let alone take outfit photos. I don't know if I'm going to start moving away from outfit photos -- obviously, them putting me into a black mood of frustration, sadness, anger, and guilt isn't necessarily a positive thing. I know I don't want to give up on blogging -- I enjoy the sense of purpose and community I get from it too much -- but I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. I guess this is being an adult, right? I have to decide what I want to keep from my reckless college years and what I want to toss. 

Well, I hope you all have a brilliant Monday. I'm going to try taking photos some mornings when I'm getting ready for work. We'll see how that goes. I'm usually in a better mood in the mornings that weekend evenings! 

It's official...

Our tickets have arrived! I thought it would take longer, but when Danny checked the mail Monday, I had an envelope from Anaheim. At first, I couldn't figure out what it could be... but as I tore it open, I saw the pink envelope and immediately got ridiculously excited. This pink envelope is iconic, at least to me -- Disneyland always send tickets in these same Tinkerbell envelopes! 

The thing about booking trips is that sometimes there isn't anything tangible about it: you have an email tell you the itinerary for your flights; an email detailing your hotel reservations; and maybe a list of ideas. But that's pretty much it. No plane tickets. Nothing to really organize and hold onto. 

I think that's the best part of Disneyland. You can still opt to get real printed out tickets. Okay, you can print them at home -- but UGH, no! I love these ones. When I see people at the gates with printed out tickets, I get sad -- there is something really great about the tickets Disney prints, with the characters, the details, the shiny paper. And the pink envelope. The pink envelope is really the cherry on top. It makes the vacation seem so much more real. 

So, it's official -- we're going... and I love being able to hold these tickets in my hands!

Turkey Rolls with Avocado

I'm not a big turkey sandwich fan. I've never been able to sit down and just eat a sandwich with turkey lunchmeat on it. But where I work started making these turkey rolls for our residents -- they are really tasty and have lots of protein and nutrients. Right now, I'm trying to sort out a way to add more vegetables (I'm thinking shredded carrot and cucumber...) but I thought I'd share the recipe: I just about 3 servings out of these, because I usually just eat one or two rolls as a snack before working out, or with a bowl of soup. 

Here's what you need: 

• one tortilla (I use the large burrito size, but you can make them smaller) 
• cream cheese, about 1 tablespoon
• 1/4 of an avocado 
• salad greens
• cheddar cheese
• turkey (or you could use chicken or ham -- whatever you have!) 

Lay your tortilla flat and then spread the cream cheese on the half of the tortilla closest to you. Using a fork, mash up the avocado and spread on the other half, leaving about an inch or so on the far edge (so it doesn't squirt out -- gross). Top the cream cheese half with lots of salad greens, then two slices of cheese, then about 3-4 slices of turkey. Starting at the edge closest to you, fold up the edge and then roll as tightly as you can until the whole thing is rolled into a big tortilla long. Using a sharp knife, cut it in half, then cut each half in half. From then, cut the four pieces in half again until you have 8 pieces. I usually snack on the end pieces right away because they're usually a little meager as far as meat, cheese, and lettuce! I store the others in an airtight container or portion them right into plastic bags to take to work. 

I love these things! They are just the right amount for a very small snack. You can totally mix these up too. They'd make great little finger foods for a party, if you did a bunch of varieties: BLAT, turkey and cheese, roast beef and sauerkraut(!), chicken and ranch, or all cheese with lots of veggies.  

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

Idaho Bound

Danny and I drove to Idaho Friday night -- it's an almost 9 hour drive, so starting out at 6:15 got us there... oh yeah at about 3am. The next morning, I still ended up waking up at 6am, which was pretty great. I met two of my best friends, Rebekah and Kalee, at the College of Idaho campus. Exciting! I hadn't seen Kalee in something like two and a half, or three maybe, years. Wow! And I hadn't seen Rebekah since graduation. After that, I got dressed in my fancy clothes and Danny & I went to Founder's Day for his fraternity. It was actually really fun! The formal dinner was pretty good, although it was surreal to eat in the cafeteria again. After that, we headed back to the frat's house, where the real party would start. As you guys know, I'm not a huge party person, but it's kind of fun to pretend I'm in college again!

The best part: getting a chance to see this girl. Hanne! She's the one really responsible for Danny and I getting together, which is pretty much great. She's great. (That's Ben in the picture with her. He's pretty cool too.) 

I hope you all had a great weekend!