7.25.2012

The Problem with Blogging


I realized something the other day: sometimes, fashion blogging stresses me out. And sometimes, I go days without writing about, you know, fashion.

Why does fashion blogging stress me out all of a sudden!? I've mentioned before, but I feel like there is a lot of pressure to "have it all" and to somehow be good at everything -- and I've gotten the feeling before (maybe it's right, maybe it's wrong), that I'm just not good at fashion blogging. I mean, while others who have been blogging less time than I have (over 3 years now!) have exploded in popularity, gaining sponsors and tons of readers, I've remained in the same place.

Some days I love it -- and I know lots of my readers love it. After a recent post, I received several emails about how some readers felt like I was much more like them, that it was like they had me all to themselves. It was cuddly warm feeling to hear and it made me feel great! But just like when you feel like a sea cow and you're boyfriend says, "You look beautiful," you believe it and love it on one hand -- but on the other hand, you're like, "NO." Not because you don't appreciate the comment, but because... brains are complicated. 

I didn't get into fashion blogging for freebies, obviously; I didn't really know the average fashion blogger could receive freebies until about 8 or so months ago! But I won't lie: I like free stuff as much as the next person. I went to some events in college just for a free t-shirt or scarf or water bottle! It's covetous and weird and materialistic, but I think it's human nature. You see someone else receive a free pair of jeans and you think, "Why don't I get free jeans!? I want free jeans!"

Sometimes I get too wrapped up in comparison that it stresses me out; I start to feel less than other bloggers, like I'm just not as good. To blog automatically brings comparison, especially when it comes to fashion. By showing off outfits, we're automatically asking people to compare our looks to others that are already out there. It's an unspoken part of fashion blogging, something no one ever really mentions... maybe because we don't like to. The comparison is hard and stressful, because as cliche as it sounds, we are all really our own worst critics.

What else is going on? I've mentioned it before and here it is again: I've gained weight. And maybe no one else notices it, or maybe everyone else thinks it looks fine. But ultimately, it's my body that I have to deal with everyday. It's me who has to deal with the fact that my dresses are too tight and I've developed love handles and as much as I want to start wearing jeans and fancy trousers, I can't find any that fit properly anymore... those are my things. I'm the one who deals with them and no one else.

It's stressful, ultimately, to want to stay in the fashion blogging, but to feel like your own body is betraying you. I have all these wonderful clothes! But when it comes down it, it's hard to wear about 50-60% of them because they feel too tight or uncomfortable or just plain don't fit anymore. It makes getting dressed stressful and for me, it's taken the joy out of what I used to love.

The problem with blogging, ultimately, is that it can turn from a joy to a stress without even realizing it. And that's hard. Blogging used to bring me a lot of joy and while I try to find happiness in it now, there are times where it is just impossible. I just want to throw my computer in the bin and forget about it forever. It'd be easy; this blog is just a bunch of code floating about. But it'd also be hard; I have a lot invested in this blog, a lot invested in the friends I've made through blogging. It'd be hard to lose everything to give it all away. I've let the part of me that compares myself to others get in the way of what I really love: fashion and photography and expressing myself.

The great thing about blogging, though, is that it's so easy to change. It's effortless and quick. Change is good and easy. Lately, I've been trying to change the things I can and accept the things that I just cannot change, in an effort to make myself happier. Locked Out is one of the things I want to change, not drastically, but just a little. They won't be huge changes, but a definite shift; more fashion, less comparison, more joy.




4 comments:

  1. Brains are complicated. I love blogging as much as the next gal but it really can be stressful especially when you are trying to balance a family, work, and something of a social life, but Ive found (and just recently) that taking a little break for yourself can be good. It allows you to reconnect with what made blogging fun in the first place. As for the body issues, I think you look lovely (and I mean that) but I know despite me (or anyone) saying that, its something that you need to come to terms with on your own. Just know you have us here for support :)

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  2. What a great post! I can definitely empathize with what you're saying. Blogging can be so, so competitive it's not even funny! :-P

    Thanks for sharing this. It's so great to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this!

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  3. Change is good. It's necessary in the blogging world to keep content fresh and applicable to your lifestyle. I am unsure where I stand with my own blog right now. I let it go because I was just too busy with school and whatnot. Now that I've got a reprieve from that and there's no real reason why I couldn't be blogging like I used to, I'm not sure that I want to. For me, blogging is fun AND stressful at the same time. I love certain parts of it--creating, writing, photographing, etc.--but hate the general upkeep and rat race of it all. I'm not into blogging for the free stuff, fame, or fortune either. I really don't care about me personally, or if my blog is better than so-and-so's, and if I'm a brand ambassador for some crappy company. I've gotta say, I don't get wrapped up in comparing myself to others at all. What DOES irk me is that the AWESOME blogs with original and inspiring content get lost in the sea of so-so and--okay, let's face it--completely shitty blogs that get a million more views and recognition.

    Another problem is that I'm busy and fashion isn't a top priority. I've been trying to write this down for my blog, but I just can't find a way to word it properly. But look at me--I work 20-35 hours a week in a coffee shop (fun, but not glamorous). I take online classes (PJs!). My field? Health management and IT. I don't aspire to work for Vogue or own my own boutique (okay, maybe that would be fun), so why the fuck do I have a fashion blog? Where is it going to take me? Sure, it's fun and all that, but I can have just as much fun reading a goddamn book or going kayaking or something that doesn't involve so much effort. Plus, and I'm sure you can relate, I live in a small town. No one dresses up, so if you do dress up, you get a lot of looks. And sometimes I just want to blend in, you know?

    Anyway, that's just my rant. I get you about being unsure whether to keep blogging or not. I've met so many great friends through it, and it's allowed me to improve my photography skills and what not. So much good has came out of it so I'm very apprehensive about letting go. I've really got to sit down and think about it and I know if I come back, like you, I've gotta make some changes so that I'm a happy blogger, not a blogger who feels obligated to keep doing the same old thing when it stresses her the fuck out.

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    Replies
    1. I agree with you sooo much! Naturally I have the kind of personality that's like "I'm not as good as other people, I kind of suck, whhhy" so obviously I get into a weird place that way. I feel you on fashion not being a top priority anymore -- my bills pretty much control my life and I'd rather go toa nice dinner out with Danny than buy a bunch of new tops, y'know. In general, I feel like I never have anything happy to write about either. Like, "Here's an outfit. Did I mention I had an emotional breakdown in my closet this morning because I work 60 hours a week and don't have enough money to pay off the credit card which I use to buy gas to get to that job?" Which is kind of a downer. Also, small towns and small environments and bleeergg.

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Thank you for reading my blog! :]
xo Michelle

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