9.09.2013

It Is Actually Too Early for Pumpkin Spice Lattes


It's still over 75 degrees everyday here in Oregon, which means, in other parts of the country, it's undoubtedly hotter. So, it's just too soon guys. It's too soon for snuggly jumpers and hot cocoa and tutorials telling me to coat pumpkins in glitter. It is too soon, guys, because Fall is still so far away and it makes my heart hurt.

But, we can at least talk about Fall, right? Even if we can't experience it...?

I know some people hate this time of year because bloggers get OMGSOEXCITED for Autumn/Fall/whatever. I know it's kind of obnoxious because summer. But, guys, seriously, I hate summer. I hate it so much. It's so hot and I hate wearing tiny clothes and I hate being too warm but I hate my thighs and my arms and tight things on my stomach and greasy hamburgers tempting me and giving me a food baby even though I seriously work out all the time oh my god why is this happening.... and sigh. I cannot deal with summer. I just hate it. I'll hide in my house until Fall and light my pumpkin-scented candles and drink hot cocoa and pretend Christmas is coming with the A/C on. So seriously, I know everyone might be hating me right now for this post but I am stupidly excited for fall. 

To keep myself sane during the summer here, here are the things about Fall I am most looking forward to. 


1. Fall Leaves. 

True story, the leaves started changing here in Oregon around mid-August, probably because we had a stupidly early Summer this year and a ridiculously dry Winter. That being said, I'm excited for all the leaves to change; I love driving home from work to the rust-colored trees lining the Interstate. It gives that boring drive just a little bit of, you know, oomph. 


2. Pumpkin patches. 

My mom and I are determined to cover pumpkins in glitter this year, mainly the wee little pumpkins that they sell in bulk at pumpkin patches. But, beyond that, I'm excited to carve pumpkins again this year. Plus, who doesn't love visiting pumpkin patches, buying caramel corn and orange vegetation and maybe dried Indian corn, all while the air is crisp and cool and the leaves are beautiful? Find me a person who doesn't love that and I'll show you the meanest person on the planet. 


3. Salted caramel mochas. 

Starbucks, those crafty devils, are the creators of my absolute favorite coffee beverage on the planet: the salted caramel mocha. Nutty, sweet, chocolate-y, salty, caramel, PERFECT. The pumpkin spice latte pales in comparison to the power and beauty of the salted caramel mocha. The pumpkin spice latte is a weakling in this fight. Pumpkin spice lattes -- blech! Boring! Dull! Orange! Salted caramel mochas are obviously superior in every way. They are even good in frappucino form. 


4. Halloween.

Halloween has been my favorite holiday since I was little because CANDY and costumes. I've sort of outgrown the costume part, but not the candy part and definitely not the part where I eat tons of candy while watching Hocus Pocus and Halloween on repeat while a jack-o-lantern flickers outside. Never gonna outgrow that. 


5. Boots & sweaters.

You know how salted caramel mochas are the superior beverage? This dress combo is the superior outfit combinations. You know what instantly makes jeans look better, legs look less stumpy, and every outfit look fancier -- boots. And sweaters are just perfectly snuggly. No one feels bad in a sweater. 


6. No more air conditioning.

I'm cold all the time (always), but at work, I have to keep the A/C on to keep everyone else happy. Air conditioning makes my joints hurt really bad and makes me feel perma-sniffly. Yes, I am 75 years old. I am so ready to be able to turn off the air conditioning, mainly because I'm so tired of my back hurting.  


7. Tights.

I love tights for two reasons: they hide leg blemishes (I am a notorious leg bruiser) and even without control tops, they suck you in a bit. Honestly, those are two very good reasons for me to love tights. I love tights because they hide panty lines and smooth out my butt and make it so I don't have to shave my legs. They turn almost every dress business appropriate (except the really short ones) and they look classy. Seriously. Classy. Tights forever, please.

What are you excited for this Fall? 


1 comment:

  1. The title made me crack up so bad. It's one of those thing that you either love to jump into the bandwagon with or hate, like the "OMG Fashion Week is just around the corner!" bloggers. Me, fall is my favorite time of year because of its atmosphere so seeing people get excited over pumpkin spice lattes make me chuckle.

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Thank you for reading my blog! :]
xo Michelle

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